As I sat down in front of my desk, it hit again. That dread of having to exercise my brain and to somehow command my affections towards the spiritual things struck me as I stared at my Bible, opened to today’s reading. There were challenges at work that I did not know how to solve, ministry prospects to contemplate, and worries in life. I knew Scriptures was supposed to help me, but I felt too drained to exert my mind to make the connections and applications to my situations. The Word of God in front of me felt distant and irrelevant, and the idea of studying the history of the monarchy in Israel (I have been reading 1 Samuel) simply seemed unappealing and burdensome.
That Feeling of Dread
For the past few months, the spiritual discipline of Scripture reading has been faring well. Motivated and inspired by a sermon and a conversation from a discipler, I started closely reading the notes of study Bibles (ESV as well as MacArthur) and reading from five different parts of Scriptures. It was revolutionary practice. I have never had such refreshing and consistent Bible reading times before.
What is happening? Why am I feeling this way? Where is my thinking go astray? I asked myself. I tried recalling those precious truths that I had gleaned from that sermon and conversation. As the feelings of hope and excitement over Scripture resurfaced, I was able to identity where my thinking went wrong.
Self-Examination
In that moment of dread and apathy towards the Scriptures, I was treating the Bible as a self-help book. I had my problems, and I needed it to address them. If whatever I’m reading doesn’t relate to my circumstances directly, I lose interest. On the other hand, what had made Scripture reading so enjoyable in the past few months was that I was simply taking in everything, drinking deeply, getting lost in the narrative. Instead of having the attitude “how does this material help me deal with life?” I was simply, self-forgetfully absorbing everything on the pages. That was the difference.
I once heard a pastor say that we Westerners often have a self-centered approach to the Bible. We arrogantly insist that everything in the Word must have a direct application to our 21st century living; we lose interest when we cannot find it. We ought to recognize that the biblical books were not originally written for our modern eyes. The biblical authors wrote to a particular audience at a particular historic time, at a particular place, in the context of a particular culture, and for a particular purpose. The book of 1 Samuel, for instance, is not going to directly address my problems at work because that is not the author’s intent in writing. It does something more glorious: the book shows God’s cosmic kingship in the establishment of the Davidic Kingdom. It would be foolish of me to insist on finding solutions to my work problems from the text. I need to give up my expectations and come to be blessed by the text in the way the author intends the text to bless me. I need to read the Bible on the terms of the authors and Author, not on my own terms.
Another Instance of Bad Attitude
The other day I was reading from Psalm 133, which begins with “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity!” and proceeds to extol the sweetness of this unity through two similes. My reaction after the first reading was less than godly. “This is common sense,” I thought to myself. “Obviously it is good when people live in harmony in general. How is this any helpful to my problems? Why am I even wasting my time reading these words? Where is the stuff that talks about how to make the sorrows go away?” Arrogance! Not every page of Scripture is going to speak to your problems, self, because it was not written for that purpose! This celebration of brotherhood might seem like redundant knowledge, but it is an essential piece of the puzzle if you want to construct a biblical worldview. In His infinite wisdom, God deemed it essential that there must be a separate, stand alone category for the celebration of brotherly unity in our minds if we are to see the world He sees the world. It is arrogance to dismiss any part of the whole counsel of God. It takes humility to absorb everything in faith; every seemingly insignificant tidbit of information is a brick that is added to the temple of the renewed mind.
And of course, as usual, there is more to be learned from scholars. As I read the study Bible notes and learned that this Davidic psalm would be immensely instructive to king’s sons, who fought and killed each other for the right to the throne, the significance of this three-versed son became clear. Further study added another dimension to my appreciation: as a song of Ascents, the brothers would be fellows Israelites pilgrims to Jerusalem. The ideal Israel is “community of true brotherhood,” and “this should be the goal of church life.”
Humility and Hermeneutics
As with all spiritual disciplines, reading the Bible is tough. However, I have found that surrendering my personal agendas to the author’s agenda liberates me to be blessed by the text in wonderful and surprising ways. When I stop asking “what relevance does this OT passage have to my life?” but rather seek to answer the question “what truth about God is the author trying to teach to the Israelites?”, I get to rejoice that this same God – Deliverer, Provider, Pardoner – is very much alive today and active in my life. When I stop being only concerned about “how does this Psalm make me feel?” but instead first inquire “what were the listener’s or author’s circumstances?”, I get to worship as they would, whether alone in the Judean desert, at a communal festival, on route to Jerusalem for pilgrimage, or at a national lament.
I recommend reading multiple study Bibles. They provide invaluable historic contexts and background as well as insights into the minds of the biblical authors. Sometimes they simply point out things that we would have never noticed ourselves. My previous shepherd said that reading study Bibles “is like having a pastor sitting by you, teaching you what the Bible means.”
Finally, recognize that the all-wise God put everything in the Bible for a reason. To humbly receive and internalize every bit and piece of Truth in His Word, however seemingly trivial, will yield fruit in the long run. Building a biblical worldview is like assembling a piece of Ikea furniture. Every screw, every nut, every washer is important. To toss out a peg can mean the difference between a functional bookshelf and a dysfunctional one. Every chapter in the Word needs to be treated as precious and indispensable, for it is part of the whole counsel of God. May God bless us as we read and intake His Word.
